Time Apart
by April-Cullen
Summary: What do Bella and Edward do when they are apart in New Moon? What are they thinking? How is everyone else taking this... During New Moon when Edward left Bella.
1. bella

Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Tick Tock. I stare at the clock in the classroom wall. It's mocking me. I've been staring at it for 5 minutes straight, willing time to go faster. Only two more minutes until I can go to lunch. Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Tick Tock. How come time passes fast when you want it to drag on forever. But when I want time to speed up and make the pain go away faster the clock goes _extremely _slow.

_Brring!! _The bell rings, I grudgingly go to lunch. Nothing's ever been the same since... _Don't Bella! Don't -whatever you do- think about that! _ I mental scold myself for thinking those thoughts that will surely re-break my heart.

I walk into the cafeteria. Grabbing my lunch I sit down at an empty table, ever since _he_-I can't bring myself to even think his name- left I've been a mess. Everybody stopped talking to me because I've become a shell. A hollow shell. Empty, no life. Like a hermit crab. It comes and lives in a shell, but in a matter of time it leaves the shell. Just like what _he _did. Just up and left, like a hermit crab and its shell. _He_ probably found someone else. _He _probably has a beautiful vampire girlfriend. One who _he _loves, _he _doesn't have to worry about physically breaking them, and the lucky girl is probably super model gorgeous. Life isn't fair...

School ends and I head toward my red truck. I step inside and turn on the heater. It's wintertime, the snowflakes hang delicately on trees, the icicles are visible everywhere and the snow seems to sparkle. But I can't find it beautiful. Nothing's very pretty anymore to me, well except _him_, he haunts my thoughts and dreams. Topaz eyes, bronze unruly hair, his breath taking crooked smile, sculpted cheek bones..._STOP BELLA! _I found myself daydreaming about him. Of what could've been...my life with him. I could've been a vampire, eternity with _him. _If only he still loved me, because I always will love him. I always have...

I arrive home, Charlie's cruiser is not parked in the driveway. Home alone. I know I'm disappointing Charlie, I really don't like to and I don't want to. But I don't know how to not be sad anymore, It hurts to be happy. It's a weird feeling when someone you loved-and still love- walks away and says he doesn't love you back. A promise broken...

I finish my homework and sit around. I have actually found myself _liking _homework. Thought only for one reason, It takes my mind off of subjects that are better undiscovered. I decide to turn on the T.V., I used to never watch it but know I need some entertainment. Something to keep my mind busy. I flip through channel after channel. Suddenly I hear Claire de Lune on one of the channels. I drop the remote and fall down on to the couch. I sob. For everything and anything. For him, for my could've been life, for my pitiful self, for Charlie, for my friends at school, for Renee... The song brings back hurtful memories. Simple things trigger them, anything that is a tiny bit close in memories to him I sob over. I don't know how long my heart can take all this pain and heartbreak...

Charlie comes home after y crying escapade. I'm sure my eyes are still red and puffy. I turned off the T.V. in case something else came on. So now I was staring at an empty screen, eyes red and puffy.

"Bella. You hungry? I'll heat something up." I can hear Charlie's concern in his voice. And what hurts even more is that he's concerned for me. Because I can't take this all and deal with the fact that he left and doesn't love me.

I realize he's waiting for an answer. "No thanks dad. I'm not very hungry." I still sit their staring at the screen. I see my reflection and I don't want to worry Charlie.

"Okay Bells. I ate on the way home. I'm going to bed. Goodnight." With that Charlie walks up the stairs to bed. To dream happy dreams. I decide I should go to sleep to. I get up to turn off all the lights and head upstairs.

I lay in my bed, wide awake. I can't sleep. i've tried it hurts. Every time I close my eyes I see topaz eyes staring at me in a peaceful and calm meadow. When I sleep any dream comes. They, of course, involve him and I can take it. I usually wake up screaming and crying. At first this scared Charlie. But after hearing it every night you would get used to it too.

After a few hours of trying to fall asleep I tip toe down stairs. I go to the drawer where I find sleep medicine. I walk back up stairs with the medicine and a glass of water. I take the pill and swallow some water. After almost another hour I fall into a medicine induced dreamless unconscious state.

I wake up to find birds chirping and the sun shining. The exact opposite of my mood. Cheery and happy compared to gloomy and dull. Like the sun and a thunderstorm. I throw my hair in a ponytail. Not caring what it looks like and not wanting to see the person in the mirror. I know what she looks like yet I have know idea what she's become. Shriveled up and died inside. I know my face shows the same distress. The dark purple bags under my eyes. The dull color my eyes are. The pale sickly white skin. The tight cheekbones. The most important is the sorrow in her eyes. Unmistakable pain and sorrow...

I grab my books and backpack. I head in to my truck, going on to complete this routine cycle of my useless existence.


	2. edward

Its 3 in the morning. The streets are empty. Its before the sun is coming out. I walk into an empty alley. Its disguisting and smelly, but the only place I can go to now. I know I can't return back to my family. They probably won't even take me back. Because I disappointed all of them. Especially Carisle and Esme. I hurt them.

Its now 5:08 AM. The sun will come up soon. I sneak up into the unused basement of the building that border the alley. I enconsed myself in between boxes, and close my eyes. Its times like this when I wish I could sleep, have time moving without me reckonising it. At times like this I close my eyes and see wide, deep, brown eyes that I drown in. They are always behind my eyelids but when I open my eyes they disappear. Of course this is the best choice for her -at least I keep telling myself that. I won't be able to hurt her or worry that with a flick of my finger I could crush her. I ponder over what her life is like right now, what's she doing at this moment. I can see her happy and human. Maybe another man has taking my place -hopefully this time she doesn't use her bad luck and find another mystical creature. I can see her hudled in another man's are, of course this is for the best, I just still can't stop from getting jealous. That she is able to be happy with someone else. She'll get over me, I know it.

As an immortal time passes faster for us. Considering we have eternity. But now it travels slowly. At first when I became a vampire, eternity sounded sort of fun. But after I've left Bella, it sounds like a burden. A punishment. Living forever without my love, my life or my heart. I left my heart with her.

At times I had convinced myself to just visit once. It won't hurt anybody. Just to check in with her. I sometimes ran half way to Forks until I had to stop myself. I had to tell myself that I couldn't go back, I needed Bella to get over me. I'm sure Alice is keeping tabs on me. I bet she can see me wallow in misery, my attempts to go back to Bella and beg for forgivness. Or that I wander the South American streets trying to take my mind off of my love. She probably told them all of the visions she sees of me, they are all probably disappointed in what I am now. I can't face myself to go back. Let them see the real monster in me. Because thats what I am...a monster. Thats why I left.

Its finally twilight. I walk back outside to the alley. I watch the sky and memories float back to me. All those times with Bella. Where we would just talk about anything and everything. Then when Charlie was close to coming home, I would let her go inside the house. Just to sneak back in. I just couldn't keep myself away from her. The sky is a watercolor painting, with purples, blues, orange, yellow and red tints. I can see what I saw a year ago. Before I met Bella twilight seemed like the most beautiful sight mother nature has given us. Once I met Bella that all changed. Everything changed for me. Changes to vampires stay forever. In good and bad ways I will always love Bella.

Now after leaving her twilight seems empty. Yes the colors are the same from years ago, but I need her soft, warm body next to me. Without her it will never be the same. I will never feel as happy again.

I watch the sun settle down.

The moon and stars take its place.

I can see lights on.

I get up to walk around. I stay in a deserted place with very few people. I need to because I don't feed often. I don't deserve it. I walk past a shop window. The store is closed but I see my reflection in the glass. I look lifeless (no pun intented). My eyes are pitch black, darker than ever before. If possible my skin looks paler, my hair is still the same bronze color. Though my hair doesn't shine and its tangled up. Parts of it are sticking up, and dirt is combined with it. I wonder what Bella and my family would say if they say me now. A mess...

Its 3 in the morning again...


	3. alice

I wish I was able to turn back time instead of see the future. If I could go back in time, I would've convinced Edward with everything I had to not leave. Instead I let him go. I could have stopped him. But, instead I see the future. I see Edward wandering the lonely streets, I see his dark ghostly eyes. I also see Bella sometimes. She's catatonic, doesn't eat much, has nightmares every time she sleeps, cries her heart out. Her life is a shell now, lonely. I wish I was able to go see her, but I unfortunately promised Edward.

The house is empty without him and a sadness lacing everything. Esme is distraught over his departure. Carisle wishes he would come back and stop torturing himself. Even, Rosalie misses her brother.

I look out the window, there's snow on everything. Like a fluffy blanket. We moved up to stay with the Denali clan, because of course we couldn't stay back in Forks. It looks beautiful here, though it also did in Forks-with all the trees. In Forks,Washington, us Cullens actually had a point when we were all happy. I heard the door open then softly close behind me, I smelled the delicious scent. And spun around facing Jasper. I knew that before I actual face-and I didn't even need my visions, I laughed internally, You have to love being a vampires sometimes. I stopped thinking how vampire powers are amazing because being a vampire means Bella and my brother can't be together and Rosalie can't have a family. Though being vampires brought our family together. With the exception of Bella, I thought.

"What's wrong. I could feel your sadness all the way from down the road." Jasper asked, getting up to hug me softly. Being a vampire brought me to Jasper. I am grateful for that.

"Just thinking..." I drifted out, looking back out the window.

"About Bella?"

"Yeah." Anger flashed through me, "I wish I could call Edward or something, to tell him how big of a mistake this is! Bella is suffering, the TOTAL opposite effect he wanted on her! It sucks having these visions and knowing I can't do much to change them because that's up to Edward." I was enveloped in Jasper's welcoming arms while I sobbed tearlessly.

It was then I got a vision. My eyes glazed over as the scene unfolded before me. It was Bella sitting on the couch, staring out the window, into the snow. Much like I was doing moments ago. Her eyes still looked empty, without the depth of her brown eyes you could always spot when she was Edward or us. Happiness, joy, contentment were the emotions she had around us. I know this for a fact because Jasper used to tell me all that when she came over.

Bella was still sitting in the couch, her legs folded up to her chest and arms encasing her body. Her eyes poured salty raindrops, that skidded over her pale cheeks, to the tip of her chin and down- staining her plain white tee-shirt with darker spots. The vision changed a macro bit, to show Bella sobbing. Her chest heaving, chin trembling, eyes closed, still crying. She dropped her head to her knees, almost as if in prayer. The vision faded out, but not until I caught a glimpse of a Christmas tree in the back round.

To know that's what Bella is suffering, pulls at my heart. Though knowing Edward did that and he could change-though he's not- hurts me double time. If only he hit his head or something and got some sense knocked into him.

Now, I feel undeserving of Jasper because meanwhile Bella lost her soul mate and has to suffer through that. And, its been months!


	4. emmett

_So bored... _I kept thinking. So to solve my boredom I reace downstairs and to the garage.

"Rosie! Will you play with me?" I asked sweetly.

"Emmett, I'm fixing your Jeep. Remember, you asked me yesterday." She sighed exasperated.

"Oh! Please Rosie, darling! Please!" I was begging now-I admit it.

"Go ask somebody else, I'll play with you later." She kissed my lips and walked back to my Jeep and amped the engine. I walked back into the house sullenly and still bored.

"JASPER! ED...." I forgot. He left. I continued with just Jasper's name, then. "HEY JASPER!" I sang again.

"Busy reading, Emmett. Sorry." He responded-although he didn't sound sorry at all. I sighed and walked to the T.V. and decided I'll just play karoke by myself. Alone....

After singing some Rascal Flatts and Taylor Swift songs I went to the kitchen and wandered around. Yes, even though I don't eat I just look and wander. Sorta like Alice when she's shopping. Wait. Not really, Alice doesn't just browse, she actually _buys._ I look out the window and see the awesome winter landscape. Man, I wish I could have a snowball fight with somebody.

After doing nothing for a few minutes, I jumped from the unexpected sound of the doorbell. _Nobody ever comes up here?_ I thought. I took a whiff of the air and smelled human. Something I haven't smelled in a while, ever since we moved out here. But, in that scent I detected freesia. Without thinking I ran to the door and pulled it open. In a swift move-probably faster than a human's. But, who cares?- I picked up the familiar freesia smelling human.

"Um...." The girl in my arms said, obviously uncomfortable. I pulled her back and came in contact with blue eyes. _Hmm....This doesn't look like Bella? Maybe she got surgery. Or contacts? _I was clearly confused and that probably was evident on my features. I put the red haired girl with _un_fimiliar blue eyes down, back on the solid ground of the porch.

"Sorry...I just.... just thought you.....were somebody else." I nervously played with my fingers. If I could blush I'd probably be now.

"Um...yeah....That's fine. I-I....just...w-wondered...umm...i-i-if you....wanted m-magazines? My school's....um...selling them." She choked out.

"No, thanks." I replied. Maybe I should just buy some as-I guess- a sorry present.

"Oh...um...Okay. I guess." With that she waved and walked down the steps.

"Sorry about before!" I appoligized once again to her retreating form. _She must be scared shitless now. Damn. _With that I walked back inside. Though I was giddy with the sight before me.

Rose started setting up the Xbox and had a controller in her hand.

"I finished with your Jeep. Wanna play now?" I nodded and walked over.

Halfway in the race she asked me, "So who was at the door, Em?" Her eyes feircly intent on winning the race.

"Nobody." I lied. I wasn't going to tell her about my little mistake. Jasper and her would never let me live that one down.


End file.
